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If you work outside the home, is it by choice or by need?
Do you find it hard to keep a clean house? What if any techniques do you have for managing this?
Do you still find time to do domestic frivolities, e.g. sewing, crocheting, writing, decorating—(insert other favorites)? If so, when do you add this into your schedule? By the way, I call these frivolities only because since I work it is a bonus to be able to do these things whereas when I stayed at home, they were part of my life.
Are you able to make nice, nutritious, and pleasing meals, or is it each to their own?
Do you find time for scripture study?
Are you able to stay in the world but not of the world since you are out in it every day of the week? If so, how do you manage?
Any other ideas or techniques you have for melding the two worlds are appreciated. I look forward to hearing from you!
Monday, December 1, 2008
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7 comments:
I went to work about a year and a half ago when I got divorced. I occasionally had part time jobs before then, but that was mostly for yard sale money :) I did volunteer at my kid's school (about 500 hrs a school year) and with our community theater, so I was just as busy then as I am now, I've was never a stay at home mom that just stayed at home.
I love my job and work about 30 hours a week. It's by necessity. My husband lives in a different state than I do and we have to keep up two households. If he moves here I'll probably keep my job for a while to pay off bills, but if I move there I will stay home. I really believe my place is in the home.
I do find time for my favorite hobbies, as I'm sure you can tell by my blog. I think if you really have the will to do something, you'll make the time.
I try to cook a nice meal every night, but there are times (at least once or twice a week) that the kids have to throw something together or we have something really simple and last minute because I'm working late or something. If my husband lived here I would be better though, when I was married before I planned out things better and we had crockpot meals twice a week on the days I had lots of activities. I'm more relaxed now since it's just me and the kids living here.
My husband and I read scriptures together each night and I try to read something each morning, whether it's an Ensign article or the Book of Mormon. I'm not as faithful at it as I could be though.
I work in a place where everyone is LDS. We don't have a single non-LDS person that works in the building and never have since it opened a year and a half ago so I don't really have too much trouble staying out of the world (lol... that's sounds really funny). I grew up in an inactive family, so I've always been able to rise above those around me and stick to my values.
Wow... this was a really long comment :)
I work outside the home because I get fulfillment from my professional accomplishments. My husband and I work opposite hours so one of us is always with our daughter. If we did not do this, then I would stay at home. Having our daughter raised by her parents and not a sitter is our number 1 priority in life.
I used to find it hard to keep a clean house. Not anymore. I hired someone to do it. I figure it is my job to raise my daughter and to build buildings. I can't do everything and I see no shame in having a woman whose job it is to clean house come and do mine! As far as the toys spread everywhere. Who cares? The toilet is clean and we aren't living in filth, so I can deal with a few scattered toys. Like I said, you can't do everything so you have to learn to pick your battles.
I definitely find time for my hobbies. You have to find time to be your own woman for several reasons. First and foremost, I want to teach my daughter a love of learning to do new things. One has to lead by example. Secondly, a woman has to have time to herself to decompress otherwise minor everyday stresses have a tendency to simmer and simmer until they boil over. Thirdly, I know several couples who divorced after the kids moved out. Their lives were so wrapped up in their kids' activities that they never became their own people and they never spent time with their spouse. Once the kids moved out, it was like the 2 adults were strangers. (Because, besides spending alone time, you have to spend alone time with your husband.) I try to get back into my craft room 3 times a week. Usually after my daughter goes to sleep; but there have been a few times when I asked my husband to take her for a couple hours on a Saturday. And sometimes while we're watching tv as a family or my husband and daughter are playing in the living room, I'll sit in the room with them and crochet. People say they don't have time for this that and the other. I say they don't MAKE time. You have to choose what is important to you and then make the time to do it. Prioritize. For me, crafting is a higher priority than cleaning and my lifestyle reflects that.
I cook about 3-4 times a week. On those nights, I make enough that we can have leftovers a couple nights. They aren't fancy meals, but they are substantive and nutritious. Last night, for instance, I made chicken on the grill, corn, and green beans.
Yes, I study scripture regularly and attend my church (United Methodist) faithfully. I even tithe! lol. Once again, you find room in the budget for what is important to you. My cleaning lady and tithing will be the last to go!
I'll have to think about the last question.
Angie,
I appreciated your comment, and long is what I wanted!
How great that you work in an all-LDS place. I have always wanted to work in a place where everyone is Christian versus some jobs I’ve had where almost everyone was partier. Right now, it’s a mix where I work.
I agree with you that if a person wants to do something, they will find a way. My issue is that I compare myself to when I was a stay-at-home mom, and it’s a lot more difficult to keep up the home fires while working!
How wonderful that your husband will read scriptures with you. That is so very important.
Thanks for blogging. I appreciate your comments!
Hi marybt,
In the past, my husband and I also worked opposite shifts or at least with very little overlap for the benefit of our children.
My mom had a hired lady for about 17 years. Once she retired, she took back the cleaning. I agree that you have to pick your battles. Not everything can be perfect.
That’s great that you make your hobbies a priority. And, yes, it is a stress releaser. Now that I most likely won’t be able to continue school, I will be MAKING time for my hobbies.
I’m glad that you find time to study your scriptures and tithe. Those are things that are priorities on my list also.
Thanks so much for your comments. :)
The whole first year I was working I was comparing myself to my old self. I've only just begun to get out of that habit, and it's amazing. Once I stopped worrying about who I used to be, I discovered I can do most of those things again. It's like I was so focused on what I didn't have I didn't realize that I can still have them. Did that make sense at all?
It made perfect sense, Angie. That's a great way to look at it! :)
That's right on, Angie.
I sometimes find myself trying to compare my meals/decorations/cleaning/etc to stay-at-home moms and, more often than that, magazines and Martha Stewart.
I have to remind myself that the stay-at-home mother's job is to do those things and raise children. My job is to build buildings and raise my kid. Those women couldn't do what they do AND what I do; so why should I think that I can do what they do AND what I do? It's a losing battle and causes unnecessary stress.
As for the magazines and Martha Stewart, I have to remind myself that they have huge groups of people working on that stuff! lol.
The biggest obstacle I have found is dinner. So many magazines and cookbooks tout that they have "Easy weeknight dinners". Well those dinners are either very ingredient-intense or else full of fat and calories. So it can be difficult to find recipes using ingredients that we can get where we live, that are flavorful, and that are healthy. Weight Watchers usually has pretty good recipes - I use them a lot. Their magazine recipes aren't easy - but the cookbooks and the free emails they send (you don't have to be a member to get their emails) usually have a lot of good meal ideas.
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