Tuesday, January 26, 2010


The day was a bit average and a bit frustrating. I really do suffer from the I-used-to-be-a-full-time-home-maker-and-want-to-do-it-again syndrome. Have you ever heard of that? Or, maybe you haven’t. It is rather passé, I’m afraid. Nonetheless, perhaps I am a bit passé. No matter. I don’t really care!

Some ladies…And maybe you are one of them…WANT to go back to work or enjoy working out of their homes. Never did quite understand that…Part-time maybe, but full-time all the time? No way!

I YEARN to be back in my home…Not just want to be…I YEARN to be in my little nest that I make for my family and me. It’s as if once you have had that luxury, it is all the worse when you can no longer have it. Indeed, it is. SOOOOO hard…so very very hard. It is almost like having once been a smoker and then quitting. You either really crave cigarettes, or you really despise them. Whichever it is, you are deeply affected one way or the other. It is the same with me having gone from full-time home-maker to full-time cog in somebody else’s dirty wheel of life. Yuck!

And constantly bouncin’ between the two leaves NO sense of self, organization, goals, or really any idea of where you were going or where you came from!

So…I really think that my BIGGEST challenge/goal of the year is to “Quit whining and just do!”. Hmmmmmmm…Not an easy one indeed, and I am NOT setting aside my goal of coming home and being self-sufficient enough to do so. That may just have to be thought over a bit more and planned out a bit more, but it’s there!

My struggle (and then I’ll get off the negatives) is that there is always so much to get done at home, and it is rewarding to do it and to do a good job of it as well. But, when so many hours of the day HAVE to be given to someone else for a silly paycheck, which you in turn give to someone else, it all seems rather worthless. A smidge of time here…A smidge of time there…That is all the home REALLY receives when only so much time can be devoted to it.

There are issues surrounding the whole situation that really disturb me…Yes, “disturb” is not too harsh of a word. For, I think that things could change…at least to a degree…But…Alas, until I find a solution…

Now on to some positives!

While morning once again slipped by without a chore being done, I again was quite successful with my night-time ones. My laundry—that was my chore for the day—is all but done save one basket of towels to be folded and put away. And…I did come up with a special load of this-and-thats that I will tend to tomorrow.


Early Morning


It felt quite good to get it all done at once. Generally, I do a load a day or so, which isn’t a bad way of doing it either. I rather like this way, however.


Fold and put away wash. Prep ironing.

Late Evening

Put living room in order.

I got my ironing set out for tomorrow’s duties.

And, my living room is tidied and set for another day…

One little mishap today was losing my keys. That is one thing that I almost NEVER misplace. So, when it happened, I was caught with an “Oh No!” type of a feeling. I had been walking the dog, and they must have fallen out of my pocket when I bent over. One would think that I could have heard them fall, but with his tags jangling, it must have masked my keys jingling.

So…we drove back and then retraced our steps. I used him as my sniffer, and I was the eyes. Well, as good as we looked, and as good as he sniffed…No keys…So, I shall have to do some calling around tomorrow and maybe place an ad. In the paper.

On the drive back home, as I was adjusting the car to shine the lights about, I nearly got stuck…Not once, but twice! One time, I thought I was stuck for good. But…we made it.

Last night, upon trying to park…Same thing. I was just about stuck SEVERAL times. Thank goodness, I was able to pull out of it each time, though, as it’s built up pretty high along the curb. Another gal wasn’t so lucky, however. As I was on my way home pretty late tonight, a car was nosed right into somewhat of a bank along side the road. She had apparently turned the corner, slid on the ice, and just kept on going!

Funny thing is...My car looked a bit worse than this one just two nights ago (see previous post)!

Luckily, I wasn’t far from home, so I told her that I would run and get my son and we would be right back. As we returned, another guy had come across the street, and with some shoveling, kicking, and pushing we got her out. It always feels so good to help someone, don’t you think? It was a small thing, really, but it still feels so good. That is one of the main reasons that we are here on Earth for…To help others along.

So…Back home it was…Watched DS's kata…His performance never ceases to amaze me…and then I did a head stand. Yes, a headstand. Why, I let him talk me into it…I don’t know. He kept persisting…”Why do you want me to do a headstand?” I asked him. “Because, I want to see you do a headstand.” “You don’t need to see me,” I replied. “Anyway, it makes me feel yucky now—the loss of equilibrium—it didn’t use to.” “Just for 3 seconds,” he pleaded.

Before this, as his feet were in the air and almost to the ceiling, I had told him that I used to time myself to see how long I could stand on my head. So, of course, he used that on me…”I’ll bet you used to stay up for 3 minutes or longer, didn’t you?” “Oh, yeah; a lot longer than that” I gloated. Well, this will be just for 3 seconds!” All RIGHT…(I caved)…

“I’ll hold your feet”, he offered. “Move out of the way! I don’t need my feet held! What do you think I am some old cachectic has-been?!” “Just keep the dog outta my way!” (O.K., I didn’t really say ALL that, and I didn’t really yell—not a yeller, but I felt like it!). I did tell him, however, to keep the dog out of the way.

One…Two…Three…And, up in the air was I! Just like ridin’ a bike, really. My form was as straight and divine as always, pointed toes and everything. And…I didn’t even feel yucky!

The reality of life…THAT is my reality…Family and time together…Usually being silly makes it all the better. ;)

So...Tomorrow is Organized Tuesday! I’m looking forward to all of the organization that I will have!

I have my outfit laid out, my lesson ALMOST (ahem) prepared, and SOME (ahem again) of my papers corrected. So, it’s not starting out TOTALLY perfect, but who likes to be totally perfect anyway?

Oh yeah…I know someone who does. Eeewww…Well, we’ll stop there.

Have a Happy and Organized Tuesday All!


Amy said...

Dear Zebu...I couldn't help but notice that you wrote your Monday post at 1am. :) Boy do I know that feeling! I'm inspired by your desire to get and stay organized -- I need to do the same here. Just make sure you get enough sleep!

Zebu said...

Hi Amy,

I am bound and determined to do it this time; I have to! I have lived too many years with the frustrations of not being organized.

Indeed, I am so much more a night person. I am thinking that three days of the week, I may switch to working nights, though I am not sure yet, as the other two have to be days.